


I Don't Want to Dream

by CGStrider



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-29
Updated: 2013-03-29
Packaged: 2017-12-06 22:14:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/740727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CGStrider/pseuds/CGStrider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My name is Dave Strider and I have seen myself die more than once. I don't want to sleep any more. I don't want to dream.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Want to Dream

"NO! NO!" I fell again. I scrambled upright, running. "NO! DON'T LEAVE...!" I had to reach them! I had to get there! Before... I had to get there! "PLEASE!" I screamed and fell, this time unable to get up. I dragged myself forwards desperately, trying not to lose sight of the retreating backs of my friends. "JOHN!" Tears streaked down my face, dripping onto the inside of my glasses as I lowered my head down to the ground. I would try again, I knew. I would keep tying until I caught up to them. My body curled into a ball almost of its own accord.

I heard something behind me. A gurgling sigh. "Dave, Dave, Dave. When are you going to learn?"

I was upright like a flash. "Who are you?!"

"Me? I am you."

I looked around in the dim red light. I saw a hunched shape in the corner and ran to it, hoping against hope. Would he still be alive? Would I still be alive?

Of course not. I reached his side. My side. I picked him up, resting him in my lap. He was completely soaked in blood. His shoulder was the worst. This version of me had been mauled by something. Something with a really long blade... Or possibly more than one...

"Daaaaave. Daaaaaaaave." I heard a whispering, papery voice. It sounded like it was behind my shoulder. My head whipped around to meet the source, but I saw nothing to have spoken to me. "Daaaaaaaaave." The voice was a hiss now, still from behind my shoulder. There was nothing there! There shouldn't have been anything speaking to me... But there was a voice and it was familiar; intensely, unnervingly familiar. Almost as if it was... My own.

This voice was mine. My voice was speaking to me from somewhere beyond my shoulder.

"Daaaaaaave, Dave, why did you do it? Dave, why did you go back in time? Why did you kill me, Dave?" The voice turned into many, many voices. I could distinguish some, they seemed closer than others. Some of them were halting, choking, gasping rasps, some wet, spluttering, congested gurgles. I could imagine why they sounded like that. In my mind's eye... I could see them, I could see me... I could see my blood. There was so much blood. It dripped from my fingers, from my chin, ran down my chest and down my legs... I was covered in it and I caused it. I caused myself to die. I caused all of this...

I opened my eyes... I didn't remember closing them, but I opened them again. I set myself down and stood up, my blood dripping from my hands.

"What do you want?" I said, cursing myself inwardly as my voice cracked. "What do you want from me?"

"I want you to suffer! I want you to suffer as you have made me suffer!" My voice sounded like a blocked drain, a steady drip of blood coming from the corner of my mouth. "I want you to suffer!"

"I had no choice! I had to... I had to..." My voice faded and cracked, becoming hoarse with unshed tears. "I had to... It was the only choice..."

I smiled and seemed to flicker. The main source of the blood on me became the middle of my chest. I coughed and it sounded as if my lungs were going to come out. "Of course you did."

"I did! It was the only option!" My voice was pathetic! I sounded like an 8-year old begging for his mommy. "It was the only thing I could do!" I finally burst, bawling my eyes out.

I snickered. "Look at you! Big, strong Dave, crying his little eyes out."

I fell to my knees and pressed my forehead to the bloody ground. I didn't want to see myself any more. I closed my eyes and saw myself again, in the inside of my mind. I saw myself die again and again... Again and again I fell, again and again I saw the blade shove its way through my chest, the expression on my face as I saw it, realized I would die.

No no no no no! No! It was the only choice! I couldn't have done anything else! No!" I screamed out, clutching my head with my hands. "No! Leave me alone!"

"I will never leave you, Dave," I said. "I am you. You can't get rid of me."


End file.
